I debated not making this post. But I think it needs to be recorded somewhere other than Twitter. Below is the draft I made before dividing up and posting the thread:
Sometimes I think WAY too much about the threats I used to receive for Victim (my weird little sci-fi horror). I’m about to start a competitive master’s program this fall. I don’t need the additional stress if something like that were to happen again.
I tend to joke that I have “one of the most obvious faces on the planet.” It’s normal for people I don’t remember to walk up to me and start talking like they know me. When I probe them with questions, they typically remember seeing me somewhere random (sometimes it’s even my doppelganger). I am apparently very memorable.
(This is, by the way, part of how my enjoyment of playing around with my presentation can bite me in the a*s when it comes to misgendering. People remember me. If they see me in a different presentation that they think “matches” (their view of) me, then that becomes how they gender / see me.)
I go through phases sometimes where I’ll use a new author bio image. I often change it to one that isn’t a person (even though supposedly readers prefer seeing someone’s face). I just changed it to a stack of my own books. It’s one of the promo images I took.
I also “sanitized” a couple of details on my more forward-facing author bios (namely amazon and goodreads). I feel bad and, arguably, like I’m being a bit paranoid about it. But I also don’t need that extra stress. I still have my pronouns listed on my website and twitter.
Also, sometimes things do happen. Here’s a [blog post] from last year about a reviewer that took issue with my pronouns. There were no threats involved.
Am I being cowardly? Maybe. But at least I’ll be less stressed about it this fall. And hopefully less likely to wind up in a situation like that again.
To clarify: I kept he/him pronouns for my more forward-facing author bios. I removed mention of they/them pronouns. I’m still proudly and openly non-binary (and I take they/them or he/him pronouns).